Veronika McBerry

Okay. No Maddie Hollyberry anymore. After i post my last post in here, i decided to take a bath. And while cleansing my body, my brain also cleansed. And i'm sticking to my name.

Hi! My name is Veronika. Well, not really Veronika, but it sounds like that. I just changed the spelling of my real name to make my pen name a little bit different. So if you're smart enough, you'll notice what i did there ;)

Veronika McBerry. This is so me. This is close to my name. And i decided to be a little bit true to myself, to my blog... Because one day, i might want to own this using my real name.

Stick to it. Veronika McBerry.

I think it's very European, like a Bulgarian name. 

The chosen name

Heyyyyy there people :D

Okay. I'm back.
I'm actually been mentally tortured for the past 3 days, i think. And it is because of the effin pen name. I SWEAR IT'S A HEADACHE. I consulted many of my friends, yahoo answers, baby names, anagrams, different types of name genrator, etc. just to help me think of a unique pen name that has a connection with my real name. But i think i failed.

Maddie Hollyberry. This is what i chose after years of thinking. It sounds cute, right? Hihi :3

Actually, i'm thinking of using my real first name, but i think it's too long. It has four syllables and i believe that a pen name should be easy to remember and i think if i used my real name, it'll be hard for readers to remember me, or my writings. Sooooo, i came up with a two-syllable name. It is from the name Madison, which i really really like, but i think my name will be too long if i used it because i already chose a long surname,  Hollyberry :)

Imagine, Madison Hollyberry. Too long, right? Maddie Hollyberry sounds better.

I missed posting in my blog! I promised to myself i will not post anything until i came up with a pen name and i didn't expect that i'll think of a name for three days. I'm such a perfectionist. What really made it hard for me to decide is the uniqueness. I want it to be popular, easy to remember, but unique. I want it to be the only one. And everytime i search this certain name that i like to use a pseudonym, there are numbers of people who already own this name.

I hope you like it guys :) I'm sick of Chreesett Asseyist. Though i love it also, it's been a part of this blog :)
It's just hard to spell and a lot of reasons which i don't want to elaborate.

I'll post again soon. :D
If there are any readers out there, comment what you think of my new pen name.

Thinking of a pen name

Hey there people.

I'm sick of Chreesett Asseyist as my pen name. I just realized that i'm using a pen name or pseudonym a few moments ago. I don't know that using other names to hide your identity is called like that, so.... I'm thinking of changing it and add a touch of my real name in it.

I'm currently looking over the net and using some anagram sites to help me create a name that is good to hear, easy to remember, and a bit of "me."

Yep, i'm having a hard time. Believe it or not, i've been thinking about this the whole day but until now, i don't know my pen name yet.

This is what I have

Hello people :)

This is me, currently confuse. Should i create a tumblr?
Yes, i'm fangirling over vampires and i just can't simply put all the pictures of them that i adore here in blogspot and post one paragraph explaining why i love stefan salvatore and everything, because i made this blog for long posts. And twitter could not handle dramas like that because of its 140 characters limitation in every tweet.

To sum it up, sometimes i think twitter is not enough to express somethings i want to say and blogspot on the other hand, is too much.

So i guess i'll be creating a tumblr at the end of the day, to satisfy my cravings. LOL.

But i still wouldn't forget about my blogspot of course :) even if there's no one interested to read my posts, but me ! Haha :D

And btw, when i searched about "blogspot or tumblr" on twitter (yes, i sometimes search topics there to know the ideas of people about it, or what people's gonna say about it) and many of them said that tumblr is better than blogspot and there's this wordpress that is not familiar to me. I even read a tweet saying that blogspot is so 2003. But i don't care. I think blogspot is more formal than tumblr. I don't know if the word formal is the right word to use in that statement, though.

What i see in blogspot is there are more writings, and in tumblr, there are more pictures. I think blogspot is really for essay and tumblr is for pics (is it really, or it is just me?).

Most of the blogspot accounts that i had visit are about fashion, about style, their #OOTDs. And my blog, this blog, is NOT about that, obviously. Sure, maybe if i have cool clothes and i know how to rock the runway or make the boys turn their heads to me when i'm walking at the mall, i would have been a fashion blogger who posts every picture of her outfit that deserves 100 likes on facebook because of it's fashion sense. But i'm not. I don't have that much clothes, you know. I blog what i have, what i can give. And i think that it is my ideas and my thoughts.

But i confess to you, sometimes i envy those girls who poses for the camera, to show the people what are they wearing... :) But i'm okay with what i have. Just like the quote on the left side of my blog says, "Never let the things you want, make you forget, the things you have." I love what i have. This is what i could share with everyone.

I can say that blogging helps me release my emotions brought by the world, by the reality of my life. I don't have my bestfriend in here, so this is the best idea to say what you wanna say.

Blogspot, i'm just going to fangirl in Tumblr. Don't you worry.

What keeps me busy

It's been a while. I've decided that i'll post every after 2 days. So here it is.

What's keeping me busy these days?
My summer's kinda okay so far. The thrill and the real "summer" is on in its way on me. The climax of my summer 2013 is yet to come, and i'm looking forward to it. But right now, i'm keeping myself happy and not so bored, by reading fan fictions, obviously about The Vampire Diaries -- well, not exactly about it, but the characters in it. I won't give the site. Hihi :3 If you are interested to know, comment below :)

I already read many stories, and when i say many, it means i don't know the exact count of the stories i had read but i know there are more than 10 but less than 100. Haha!

Sometimes i read one-shot (one chapter) stories, and i am recently reading a fanfic with 43+ chapters. I'm amazed how a story makes me feel something, like i'm so connected with the story. I wish i could write a great story, but i don't think it's my forte. I actually envy the authors of the awesome fanfics that i have read, and some stories do actually deserve to be published as a book, and i will totally buy it.

I'm a bit of a bookworm, and i never imagine myself reading love stories before. But because of my OTP (one true pairing) i can't believe that i'm actually enjoying romance stories. However, i only read fics like that IF they (the TVD casts, esp. my OTP) were the main characters.

This is it for today, gotta start reading :) I actually go to bed at 3 am, because of my reading :)
Btw, my blog has now 200 views ! And i think 50 of that views are from me. Seriously.

Reasons why i'm happy today

Hello there people :)
It's been 2 days since my last post... I'm just soooo lazy to write and i'm busy fangirling over you-know-who.
I'm happy right now (i'm happy always) but my level of happiness today is greater than the other days. I just had a fab day with my friend and my mom. It's all good vibes, but there's this scene and i don't wanna talk about it (but i brought it up.lol) and let's just focus on what am i going to talk about right now.

I'm going to show you my nails !! My fingers are newly manicured and yeah, i think this is why i'm happier this day :D My sister got her nails done up and down, and they are cute, i may say. My mom got her toenails done and they're beautiful also (she didn't had manicure because she's doing house chores and basically, it will eventually be ruined, so there's no point-- that's her reason). SO i was envied. I want gorg nails too, and that's how i got my nails done :)

It's just my finger nails, btw. I didn't managed to let the manicurist give me some pedicure service (omg pedicure service--what kind of term is that! sorry guys, i don't know how to say it. English is not my mother tounge) because i'm wearing rubber shoes that time. So it's just my fingernails that were happy, not my toenails --- they're probably mad at me (they do all the walking, but i don't get to beautify them. Yes, ikr, feet do the walking BUT the toenails are part of the feet so STFU.) FYI, i do some house chores in our house, but not so severe (severe? yes, severe) and it's cute when i see my fingernails typing on the keyboard and they're beautiful, it makes me smile :)

Here is the photo :

Sorry for the quality of the picture.. I'm just using the webcam. (poor me) I edited it a little, so it will not look so pixelated, just added some brightness and deepen the color. No, it's not blue. It's light purple with glitters. It looks like blue, maybe because of the lighting, but i repeat, it's light purple WITH GLITTERS. #capslocktodeath

And another addition to my happiness is this :

Yes. I'm happy because of a lip balm. ---But first, i have to say SORRY FOR THE BAD EDIT peeps! It's ugly, i know, but i did not notice that it's this ugly when i saved it. Sorry. My bad. The effect in that photo is antique that's why it has that black something in there. It looks yucky, ikr. --- And back to my happiness. The picture up there is not just a lip balm, it's the first-ever makeup that i have purchased in my sixteen years of existence here on earth (yes, i'm already 16. Woohoo! another info! but no one's interested. boo).

I'm not yet testing it, but i'll keep you posted on what it tastes like (yes, it's obviously watermelon flavor, but is it a delicious watermelon? or does it really tastes like watermelon? maybe it tastes like banana) or how does it feel like (haha XD) when i apply it to my lips. I bought it today, when me and my mom is buying groceries. I'm in line to pay, then i saw a Maybelline lip balm and the design is cute, and i think i should really have a lip balm because my lips are dry and chapped 'coz it's hot (summer time). But that Maybelline one is a little bit expensive (i know! lip balms are cheap compare to other make-up products, but we're buying what we need first, and i already put two small packs of marshmallows and a small size blueberry Duch Mill in our basket, and a pack of green peas kind of juck food which i eventually did not take for the sake of my lip balm to be purchased -- i think i'm asking too many for my mom so i settled for the cheaper one) and luckily i saw another kind of lip balm, which is a Careline product (i first saw the Maybelline lip balm). And that's the one i purchased.

My post for today is a bit longer than usual, i think. Well because i didn't post for 2 days and i have a lot to share to you guys, so this is it.

I'm going to post something about my obsession with parentheses and my dislike to long reading materials some other time.

This is all for today!
Thank you :)

My heart's Anthem, My day's Light

Had a rough day today. There's so much i want to talk about but i know that in writing an essay, there should be a one topic that you'll put your focus into (i don't know if that rule is also applicable in blogging though). My past posts were like two topics in one essay, because words just pop in my brain and i'm like "oh, i have to tell them this" or "oh, i really want to write about this" or "this is a great subject this deserves to be written" --- something like that. So yeah, that's the reason (if you could notice) why at first i'm talking about this and then the next paragraph, i'm talking about that -- i tend to shift topics unknowingly.

I am about to be negative in this post, BUT watching the Anthem Lights (a Christian band) just gave me good vibes !!!! So i decided not to talk about how bad my day is, but rather, i'll post a cover of Anthem Lights and discuss a little about them.

They don't just do a cover of a song. They make it BETTER, in my opinion of course. Every cover that they do, i think, it is better than the original one. (I also like Boyce Avenue, btw.)

I love watching them sing, it's like i'm not contented on just hearing their voices. It's like watching a music video, it looks amazing, and you could see in their faces that they're enjoying and they love what they're doing (besides the fact that they are ALL HANDSOME).

Forgot to mention, the band consists of four members, namely Chad Graham, Caleb Grimm, Alan Powell, and Joey Stamper <3 . I actually idolize all of them, they're voices are heaven in my ears, the blending also is perfect !!! They're my favorite band :) They're just so.... so..... They're superb! They also have their original songs, and mind you, they are Christian songs :) They worship God so much (based on my observation).

Here's a picture of them :

From left to right: Alan Powell, Caleb Grimm, Joey Stamper & Chad Graham <3

--how's that for a caption ? ;)
(my post today is full of hearts because of them, just wanna clear, it's not Valentine's day)

And this is their video (for me, this is they're best cover ever and the best mash-up that i've heard in my whole life):

You've gotta watch it !

For the last part, i created a youtube channel (it's connected with google) so that i could comment and like their videos ;)

P.S. Caleb is following me on my personal twitter account!!! Not sure how's that happened but i don't care!!! It's a virtual miracle :D
#imjustsohappy

Change for the Better

Heyy there people !!!!
I just want to share to you guys how happy i am with my blog :)
I'm so proud to say that i made it by myself, i discovered everything by myself and with the help of google support, because i always ask for how to this how to do that. And i tell you, google support is VERY helpful.

I changed my name to Chreesett (pronounciation: kriset) because my blog's title is changed also, from The Silent Essayist to The Secret Essayist . I think it sounds better than the first one. So as i mentioned earlier, everything i make up should always be connected to avoid mess. So from Sentthile (rumble of The Silent) i change it to Chreesett (rumble of The Secret) which is also i think that so much better than the first one.

I believe that every change is for the better in every ways :) Even on blogs :)

The Second Major Change

Okay! I'm done with the MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR (x10) change in my blog !!!

Honestly, i think the first major change that i had done in my page (which is about the admin of this blog) is more on the inside (ex. for a person, it's his character) and this second major change is like the physical appearance.

I super duper like my new theme and i'm again proud of myself for being able to beautify my blog. I just discovered about the layout lately and i had fun adding gadgets on the side. You can see there my favorite quotations and the pic of my boyfriend (hahahahahaah XD that's obviously a joke), Paul Wesley. Yes, i'm obsessed with him. *fangirl mode*

I'm gonna show you my past blogspot theme, for those who have no idea what i'm talking about in my last post. (though i'm pretty sure that all of you are clueless 'coz i think i still have no permanent readers in here)
Here it is:

So...See what i mean?

It's kinda manly, and i don't like it. I just didn't know how i did not realize it before.

Even so, in my new background, you can easily tell that the owner is a girl (obviously, i'm a girl) and i think what i had mention in my last post about my ideal theme does describes this. 

I also think that one could easily say that this blog is more on posting essays (if you pretend not to look at the title) by just looking at the theme.

Because there are themes that are created based on the purpose (food, advertising, magazines, about works, girly stuff, nature, fashion, etc.) and i feel (feel, really) that the one who designed this theme created this for personal blogs focusing on essays.

Bye for now, i spent a lot of hours just by picking this perfect theme for my blog and my eyes kinda hurt now. I'm also not yet taking a bath (i'm admitting this) and it's already past 6pm, i'm also hungry already.

I'll try to post again later :)

Bye for now :)

Thanks !!

Blogger Themes Hunter

Hey guys :)

I'm currently looking for a new theme/background for my blog.. I just realized that the title is kinda screaming, and the whole page is kinda masculine, except for my pic (i'm gonna write a post about it later) and my posts are definitely not sooooo manly.

I'm having a hard time what to pick, actually. I want it to be simple, comfortable-looking, clean, and a little bit feminine and mature.

Still, i don't want to look at the sites where there are gazillions of themes, 'coz it will complicate my head.
I'm looking at the site http://www.bloggerthemes.net and i hope i find what i'm looking for.

I'll post again later, after i change my background ;)
Thanks :)

Bloody Addiction

Ahoy there :D
As  usual i'm a happy pea :3

I've already wrote 7 posts, and i just realized yesterday, that the indicated time posted in there are all wrong. I don't know how it happened, or how i didn't realized it earlier, and also, i don't know how to set it correctly. It's okay, i don't mind the time though.

I can tell you today that i'm not posting at midnight. It's actually past five o'clock in our country. So it's a new thing :)

Anyways, this is the moment some of you (if there are some) have been waiting for. I'm going to post a random pic! Well, it's not just a random pic for me. It's something about myself, something that will tell you about what i like in this world :)

You guys know them? Well it's Candice Accola and Paul Wesley from The Vampire Diaries !
I'M ACTUALLY ADDICTED TO THE VAMPIRE DIARIES.
There, i said it. ;)

It's just a simple picture but eventually, i'm gonna post gorgeous ones ^_^
I super LOVE Caroline (Accola) and Stefan (Wesley), their characters in TVD !

So this is a bit of me, i think i will talk a lot about my addiction here in my blog :) They're amazing people even though i haven't met them yet :) I will eventually post other pics of the characters i love (i love all of the cast, but my love for the two of them is bigger than anyone in the show).

However, i'll not explain the story to you, if you don't know it. You can Google it, definitely, you'll understand the explanation of other people from the web than in my own (lol).

Just want you to know that i started being addicted to TVD by watching them in Youtube only and then reading the story in their site :) And then i eventually watched them on TV, but just once! (or twice, but it's not finished).. And then i just know that i'm already hooked up in the story!

Maybe i'm gonna post again later :)
Bye for now!
Thanks!

Major, major Change

Hey guys !
So this is the MAJOR CHANGE that i've done in my blog. I'm changing the admin of this blog, but it's still me. I'm just changing the ACCOUNT where you can contact me or the one that appear below the "About Me" section of this blog. I'm doing this to have peace for myself (haha, but seriously, yes) so that everything's that i made-up is connected (i'm referring to the name) and not messed up.

I've said before to one of my posts here that i don't want any mess in my life or in virtual life. I'm still the same blogger from the account courtney montez, i just don't want to use that name again (though i explained already why i had chosen it) because i don't feel comfortable using other people's name.

There are more than 7 billion people in this world and i know one (or two, or more) of them names Courtney Montez.

While doing the process, i've read this out of scanning the google terms:

Impersonation is a serious issue. Pretending to be someone else could cause your profile to be deleted. If someone is pretending to be you, go to their profile and click Report this profile.

^ And that scared the crap out of me.

I just want to clean everything up, that's why i created a gmail account named after my blog.
And as you can see, you'll notice that my new made up name is "Sentthile Asseyist" (which is very very very unique! i'm proud of myself that i thought of it, i think it's a brilliant name) which is when you mix the letters of  my blog's title "The Silent Essayist" you'll get that name. So that's where it came from.

As for the email of my new gmail account, it's secludedidentity@gmail.com, which is also the same as the URL of this site.

I think what i've done for the past 2-3 hours cleaned up my sort of mess in this virtual world. I know it's not a big deal, but i'm a perfectionist, so that's why. :)

I'm going to delete already the courtney montez account that i made up. And this'll be the only and official admin of this blog.

The remnants (remnants, really.) of courtney montez in this blog will remain though:

Photos uploaded with Account 1 will break if that account is deleted. If you want your old photos to display after adding Account 2, you'll have to leave Account 1 active.

Obviously, the courtney is the Account 1 and the second is this new one. Remember i posted a pic yesterday? (that's my first ever and it's epic fail) I think i have to delete the post "Bloody Addiction" if the picture will be gone. Good thing that's the only pic that i've posted so far. Everything really has a reason!

So i'm gonna do it now, post again later!
Thanks !

My visually new blog

Hello guys :)
If you had seen the first look of my blog (my first few weeks in here) you would notice that i changed my background and the title of my blog.

I had a hard time looking for the right background for my blog. I'm a little bit perfectionist when it comes to things that i own or rule. Also, the changing of my background was kind of challenging because sometimes the format doesn't fit perfectly or appear correctly. It looks like crap.

What i first picked is this design that is very alive. I actually tried a lot of different backgrounds, but it doesn't look good when i saved it in my page. This "desk" background looks great for me, as i wanted my page to be simple, yet not boring. I tend to go to simpler things than colorful ones. I believe that simplicity is beauty ;)

Anyways, lately, i was about to settle in a notepad-style background but the date and time of my posts aren't  fitted in the theme. I don't know how to explain it, but it doesn't look good, it's messy. So when i changed it to this, everything fitted well, and i must say, i like the design. Hope you guys like it too :)

I'm the type of person who has a side to be different and i don't really settle for commonality (is there such a word? if none, hope you know what i mean by that). So i tried to look for exotic ones (but no so, really) and i guess i succeeded.

As for the title, i got it from the name of a background when i was searching lately. It is called "essayist" and it is very very simple, nearly plain, but classy. And then, immediately, a light bulb popped in my head and then i said to myself, 'why not try to use that word?' It sounds cool and unique. Also, almost all of the blogs i knew has a different site name and title to their blog. So i thought, that's a rule or something, so i went with the flow.

To be honest, i think the title "The Secret Essayist" is better than my previous title. Though i didn't changed my site name, but i attempted to, i just thought that i already got used to it and i don't wanna change it anymore (i want to remember how i started and that's the only symbol of my beginning since i changed a lot of details, visually).

So here's for a new change :) Hope you like it, 'coz i love it !
Thanks for reading!

The history of the name

Yep. I often write late at night. (is the grammar correct? for the sake of rhyming, i did that. poetry license will do the trick. if you know what i mean, though i'm not writing a poem right now.)

Sometimes i think i'm the only one who understands myself... That's kinda sad, but i think it's true and i have to accept it. (lol. too much drama)

Anyways, the real purpose of my posting right now is to tell you guys that the Gmail account that i'm using to write in this blog is fake. I mean, the name is fake. It's just a made-up name, totally not my real name. And the reason for it is i know you already know, i kept on repeating it on my past write-ups in here (read it, if you haven't yet), and also, the title and the greeting? What should we call the text below the title of my blog? Well, whatever it is, it also explains the reason.

You may be asking, why Courtney Montez? Well, i just thought that "Courtney" is a beautiful, yet common name. I don't want it to be obvious that it's me (though i don't know how will that happen) so i picked a common name that no one will suspect of me. It is very safe. And "Montez" because of Gabriela, the girl in High school Musical. Her surname is Montez (for those who don't know, but i doubt that 'coz it's popular way back years ago). I liked her when i was a girl, ages 10-13, i think. Also, when i create characters in the Sims (a game) i'm fond of using her name. So i think i was just get used to it that's why i picked it.

The name's really not a big deal, just want to create an explanation out of it.

And i know a blog without a picture is boring. i know.. But i'll never post a pic of myself here, just so you know, and i think no one's interested to see who's the owner of this blog (huhu). However, i'll post a pic of something in here. Things i like, amazing pictures or quotations, pics of my crushes (owyeah \m/ though they are celebs), random stuffs, etc. So maybe one of these days i'll post one.

After typing some of my thoughts, i felt relieved. :)
This is it for today. Sorry, wasn't able to post yesterday and the other day, i think.
I see, i kinda can't live in my promise that i'll post everyday. Some promises are really made to be broken..(but i didn't mean it)
Bye :)
'till next time ! Thank you !

Long-time Delay

....
....
When was the last day i posted a blog?
Yeah..' can't remember either... Sorry for not posting for so long.. I know i promised in my first ever post that i will manage to put up something everyday..

I think i'm a bit lazy on doing it, 'coz you know, writing requires a mood. If you're in the mood to write, then there's no problem. The ideas will overflow and everything will be okay (haha). So you can say that in the past few days, i'm not in the mood to write.

I also think that i'm busy, though i'm not doing anything. I'm always in the house (inside the bedroom, specifically) but i can't find time. Sometimes i'm reading tweets, or i'm looking at my Facebook, or reading fanfics (i like to read fictions), or books.

Lately, i just finished Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist and it is an amazing book. Very well written. It's beyond great ! It becomes one of my faves after i finished reading it. i just borrowed it to my close friend/ former classmate (as much as i wanted to shoutout her name, i can't because everything in me is secluded..y'know.).

 I know that nobody is still reading anything in here and it's okay. I realized that the reason i'm doing this is because it's for my own good. For myself. I'm the one who wanted to blurt out what i want to and this is my way. Having readers is just a plus to your happiness you get from blogging. I'm doing this because for myself, not for the readers or anyone out there, so i think there's no reason if no one reads your blogs.

I don't think i'll make this post long, i'll just post a new one :) Because really, i'm having a hard time intending the right or fitted title for my posts. If i discussed a lot of different topics in here, there'll be a lot of  "/" signs in the title.

Bye for now :) I'll post again soon :)
Thank you !
VAs, VAs, where art thou?