Fail Crush

It's been a while since my last 'long' post :)
All i do in life is study and then go back home and then school then home, school then home. When i'm at home, i say to myself tat i'll study when i got the time at our house, but when i'm resting already, i feel so lazy that i will end up not doing anything. That's hard. Can't control myself from being lazy. :|

Anyways, i want to tell you guys about me.. having a crush on my blockmate.. Well, he's not so handsome, he's okay, but i could say he's got the looks. I do usually look at the physical appearance of a person, and i got attracted to him. He's a bit chubby, but for me, it's okay and normal. I want huggable persons, y'know. Back to my crush, i also like his voice. It's deep (like Paul Wesley, my celebrity crush) and he's smart. I really do have a crush on him, but i kept it simple and not-so obsessed. It's just a simple crush, and i think to myself, i'm just pushing it so i'll have an inspiration or someone to look at and be happy when i'm bored. Sometimes, i also get jealous when he's talking to other girls, but i don't really mind it, and obviously, i don't have the rights to be.

We're talking, yes, but only sometimes when he approaches me. I like it when he does that, he'll just look at me and then speaks or he'll touch me with the tip of his pointing finger (kalabit, in Tagalog). But he never said my name :( That's kinda sad because i say his name, i call him. Maybe i don't have an effect on him or he's just treating me like a blockmate, nothing else (like even as a friend). Okay, i accepted that. It's okay, it's just a crush, no big deal.

However, my other blockmate (a girl) told me something that really turned me off. It's about my crush (no one knows that i have a crush on him, (i just said it in here, tho i didn't mentioned his name) and it really is a turn off. My blockmate said that my crush was saying something aloud during our PE class, and she said he really was saying it aloud, he knew that there were people hearing him. And that "something" that he was saying was kinda disgusting (hint: it's naughty, you could associate it with making out). So see? It really was .. ugh.

So i was turned off, not able to believe that he said that, because he doesn't look like one saying those things. But my close blockmate told me to even ask the others, but i didn't because it's embarrassing.
His Twitter username is kinda naughty too, but i didn't mind it at first, only now that i know what he does.. I mean, for sure he does that "something" sometimes, because he's capable of saying it aloud.
Hayy.. :/

This is it for now, just want to share with you my disappointment...having a crush on a...nothing.

One liner post

I'm writing my seven-page autobiography today. I thought it's easy, but no-o-oh.

My Heart and Head's Secret Place

Being in college is really a hard phase in life. No breaks. Can't slow down. I actually do have an assignment to finish and notes to write down but i'm posting here. Well, it's Sunday today, and when it's Sunday, we take our breaks from a stressful week. But Sunday is also stressful, so there's actually no breaks.

In NSTP, we have to prepare a dance number for the program where our group will be the sponsor. This is hard for me because i'm not a dancer. I'm not good in dancing but sometimes i believe i do have a talent in that field, though the problem is i don't practice it. But because i have to participate in order to pass the subject, i'll do everything in my power. Lol.

Anyways, i know deep inside that i want people i know to read my blogs to let them now that i have a blog. Having a blog, in my perspective, makes you smart and cool. Haha! Sometimes i think that because i have a blog, i fit in. Though it's not my major purpose why i created this. Going back, there are times that i'm thankful that nobody knows me reads my blog (as far as i know). Well, this blog is not connected to any of my social media accounts where i use my real name. This is connected to the accounts where i use my pen name. So i'm confident that no one really knows who's typing these words. You ask why? Well because of what i said in here. It's because what i post in here. This is the only place where i don't (or don't have to) pretend. I say what i wanna say, what i feel, what i think. And yes, i don't want people knowing what's in my head or in my heart because it will make me vulnerable to their eyes.

I so badly want to post in Filipino but i'm practicing my English. Maybe next time. :)

This is it for the week! Haha :) I could barely post because of my busy schedule ...